The Edit

Monday, 2 February 2015

I hope I never forget this feeling

I hope I never forget this feeling.

So here's how my Monday went: Early morning breakfast with one of my favourites, at work by 8:30, productive day of working in marketing until 4:30, rushing to meet Naomi for a coffee and a quick magazine catch-up, 6 pm workshop for Blacklisted - strategising, planning, and looking at what's ahead of us, 9 pm dinner time, and now it's 10:30 pm and I've just finished giving feedback to one of our writers and then back to editing more articles again.

Except of course I have abandoned that momentarily for this blog update.

Today was the first time I truly felt like a magazine editor. There laid our thoughts, processes, and operations a in big sheets of paper and all I could think of was 'shit's getting real'. Looking at it and discussing it made me wonder how we got through it last year. How, when we first started committing to a magazine last year, it didn't even occur to me that this would turn into what it's just about to be now.

And I am proud. And excited. And a little bit scared. But mostly excited to see what's to come this year. I never really thought about being an editor until tonight when I realised the gravity of it all. The responsibility, the outcomes, the challenges, and best of all, the possibilities.

Then I got home, read one of the drafts submitted to me, and felt it again. Goosebumps. Excitement. Like I wanted to sing and dance and jump right this instant. Not because the writing was perfect but because of it wasn't. It was a draft that was full of possibilities waiting to be unleashed. It was reading a piece by someone who have yet to find their voice and realise what a truly spectacular world they had in them.

As I wrote the feedback, I couldn't help but feel such gratitude. That this is the type of thing I do in my free time, things I do for 'fun'. That my love for words - stringing them together, making them alive, structuring sentences - could lead to this.

There are these people who don't even see that their talent is more than they think it is. That they carry this universe inside of them that maybe they don't realise it yet. It's one thing to provide the platform, but to be the one constantly pushing them to get it out, to realise the potential. I am someone who is now in the position to do that.

I hope I never forget this feeling. I hope I never forget to be grateful about opportunities like this, to grow and work towards something that matters. There is nothing I love more than seeing people reach their potential and realise the things they are capable of.

This year is going to be a big one and I am unsure how I'll be doing it this year - a full time job, managing a magazine, events on the side, social life, sleep (?) - but I think as long as I keep going back to this feeling, somehow it will all happen. I can't wait to see how it unfolds.

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