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Slow

. Wednesday, 2 January 2019 .

I'm giving myself permission to go slow this year. I've been thinking about this these past few days, reflecting on the year that's been and looking back on where I was this time last year. I don't even remember writing and publishing my 2018 goals on the blog but there it is. It's the first time I've thought about it since writing it last year and I'm honestly shocked to see that most of what I've jotted down for 2019 are the same goals I had last year. It's no secret that 2018 has been rough for me and from everyone's year in review on Instagram, it seems as though I'm not alone in feeling this way. 

2018 has left me feeling defeated and down. I feel exhausted and I feel like I've lost my sparkle, lost a big part of myself that I love. I can't even explain it but I really miss my old self. I used to have such an optimistic, idealistic, positive outlook and now I find myself being more cynical and pessimistic than I want to be. 

This time last year I was so excited for the New Year, so excited to start achieving and crossing off my to-do list and doing great things. I was so pumped to be chasing my dreams and dreaming bigger dreams. Somewhere along the way, I let my perception of 'reality' knock me down. And I've been on the ground since. 

I've been comparing the me from this time last year and the me right now, amazed at the stark contrast between the them. I miss feeling infinite and I miss feeling like everything was possible for me. Like the big dreams are within reach and the mountains are moveable. 

I'm still feeling it, even though the holiday has been really good to me. I still feel a little bit defeated and unenthusiastic about some things. But I'm also starting to feel more 'me' than I have in a while. Like there's a little spark left inside me. Maybe if I spend more time fanning it, it will grow into a flame.

Until then I'm giving myself permission to slow down. To actually have a break and rest and not feel guilty for not being productive during this time off. To not crossing off the to-do lists and cleaning and decluttering, to not sorting the piles of laundry just yet. To not having completed my yearly plan and goal-setting diaries. No guilt. Just enjoying moments of stillness, lying down in my bed and alternating between reading and staring at the ceiling. 

Slowing it down right now. Getting out of bed to lie in the couch because change of scenery is always good for you. BRB. 


I'm giving myself permission to go slow this year. I've been thinking about this these past few days, reflecting on the year that's been and looking back on where I was this time last year. I don't even remember writing and publishing my 2018 goals on the blog but there it is. It's the first time I've thought about it since writing it last year and I'm honestly shocked to see that most of what I've jotted down for 2019 are the same goals I had last year. It's no secret that 2018 has been rough for me and from everyone's year in review on Instagram, it seems as though I'm not alone in feeling this way. 

2018 has left me feeling defeated and down. I feel exhausted and I feel like I've lost my sparkle, lost a big part of myself that I love. I can't even explain it but I really miss my old self. I used to have such an optimistic, idealistic, positive outlook and now I find myself being more cynical and pessimistic than I want to be. 

This time last year I was so excited for the New Year, so excited to start achieving and crossing off my to-do list and doing great things. I was so pumped to be chasing my dreams and dreaming bigger dreams. Somewhere along the way, I let my perception of 'reality' knock me down. And I've been on the ground since. 

I've been comparing the me from this time last year and the me right now, amazed at the stark contrast between the them. I miss feeling infinite and I miss feeling like everything was possible for me. Like the big dreams are within reach and the mountains are moveable. 

I'm still feeling it, even though the holiday has been really good to me. I still feel a little bit defeated and unenthusiastic about some things. But I'm also starting to feel more 'me' than I have in a while. Like there's a little spark left inside me. Maybe if I spend more time fanning it, it will grow into a flame.

Until then I'm giving myself permission to slow down. To actually have a break and rest and not feel guilty for not being productive during this time off. To not crossing off the to-do lists and cleaning and decluttering, to not sorting the piles of laundry just yet. To not having completed my yearly plan and goal-setting diaries. No guilt. Just enjoying moments of stillness, lying down in my bed and alternating between reading and staring at the ceiling. 

Slowing it down right now. Getting out of bed to lie in the couch because change of scenery is always good for you. BRB. 

1 comment

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