The Edit

Sunday, 23 August 2015

That feel when you put yourself out there

"I can feel my heart beating in my chest"

"That is the way you should feel your whole life." 

- Paper Towns

The last two weeks has been the most intense weeks of my life so far and I feel like I'm only just catching my breath now. I forced myself to pause and slow down tonight, opting to have a very yummy bubble bath (and my new facemask from Lush) with a glass of wine, candles, and flowers. I kept thinking about everything that happened in the last two weeks and the whole time, I was thinking about that specific line from Paper Towns.

I've had quite a few of those moments lately - exhilarating, heart beating so fast, eager anticipation, and the feeling you get when you're about to do something wild and courageous and brave.

I spoke at the graduate panel for Spark Festival about my career journey so far since graduating last year. It was an honour to be part of it as the 3 other people who spoke before me have already achieved so much (one even has a Hollywood film experience in her resume) and afterwards was told that there were people at the spill-out room that came just to hear me speak. Then just a few hours later, I had PechaKucha happening.

Because I decided a few months ago that it would be a great idea for me to do one (honestly why do I do this?) as well as organise my biggest event for the year, I was a bit flustered beforehand trying to get everything sorted. But of course, in some groovy cosmic way, everything worked out seamlessly. I got up in front of a crowd of almost 200 people and talked about the moments that made me feel alive. The event was a huge success thanks to the fantastic speakers that agreed (got bullied into) speaking, and of course to everyone who came along.

During that week I learnt what it meant to put myself out there in every aspect of my life, both professionally and personally, and all I can say that it feels so goddamn good to feel no matter what the outcome.

I have never been more grateful to have a heartbeat.

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